Second Samsung gadget in my life

 Yes. I bought another new gadget which is a brand new phone. 

It’s Samsung M51 which is a series of galaxy phone that only sells online. Anyway, this is all planned. Initially wanted to buy an IPhone but after much considerations, I’ve decided to just spend half on a new phone and get a new iPad as I really want to get it and it will help much during my learning process. 

Btw, I got it sales during Lazada 12.12 promotions. It’s from Samsung official store so no worries on the product. It delivered on the same day itself which is really productive and the delivery fees is free. 

After around a week of using it, i feel great. Here’s a summary of this phone:

Plus points

• Big screen, good for watching videos and writing diary if you do write diary with your phone.
• A lot of functions which I didn’t expect for example the ability of adjusting the keyboard size and etc.
• Good camera with this price. 😍
• Powerful battery. Can last up to 3 days without charging.
• So so many more waiting for me to explore!

Negative points

• It’s kinda heavy but the weight is more alike same with iPhone 12 pro max.
• Thick, maybe because of the battery which is super powerful and lead to the thickness, but it can be easily forgotten so no worries. 

That’s all. It’s time to start with everything new before proceeding to 2021. 

Get motivated yo! 💪🏻

IPad (8th Generation)

Yesterday's night was quite emotional.

I've finally decided to buy myself an IPad. I know I want it since long ago, since the day my IPad started to keep shut down by itself. 

Why I said it was emotional?

From the mid of last year, especially the day I moved back home to stay with my family from the condo I've rented outside, I still bared the rental without my parents knowing. I started to be very thrifty towards all my spendings, especially when coming upon meals. I had bread for breakfast and lunch, or sometimes just bearing with a hungry stomach. I just hope to keep matters less and getaway from negativity. I felt love from home and from my close friends. 

At that moment, my IPad began to have problems despite several times of restoring it. I always envy people having their own IPad and being able to scribble some notes using the Apple Pencil. But having an IPad that time, it was just a  dream to me. Till today, I've finally bought my own IPad (as it was at its cheapest price rate, such a bargain right and I even have cashback!) after saving much money from work. 

I'm really happy even though seeing money to be reduced from the account is such a pain to me. Anyway, I'm glad that I gave myself a big big gift this year! (Probably changing a new phone soon, as mine have been using for almost 4 years and lagging sometimes hehe) 

Hopefully I can always remember that nothing comes easy, always be grateful for everything. 

P/S: Just wanna say this to myself, thank you for not complaining much and stay positive, I know you became stronger now, jiayouuu in the future as more challenges coming ahead. Stay strong! ♥️

颓 废 的 一 个 星 期

在 家 颓 废 了 整 整 一 个 星 期！ 

一个星期的追剧，一个星期的自我颓废，也应该要中断了吧~ it's time to fulfill what's in your plan and start working them out rather than just keep imagining. It's time to pick up your books and start reading. 

这几天就真的颓废什么都没有想太多，变得有点懒惰了。虽然还有想一想感情的事情，但我觉得对的人会让你安心，对的人也会值得你去相信他，就没想太多了。because I believe what is meant to be, it will be, just don't need to think much. 

Rmb to just make good use of your time and start doing things you really wanna do! Jiayouuuu! 

一 百 天

一百天的努力可以带来很多的改变，想要利用现在的空闲时间来培养一些爱好，也同时让自己养成一些好习惯。

运 动

一直以来因为懒惰把很多事当成不运动的借口，希望这次自己可以放下心来，让自己轻松一点做一些运动。每次都很羡慕别人曼妙的身材，那这次就让自己不用去羡慕，而去拥有吧！

饮 食

要有健康的身体一定少不了健康的饮食，祸从口出，要记得吃什么样的食物，自己就会变得怎么样哦！

阅 读

一直以来其实都很爱阅读，阅读不但可以让自己增加知识、增长智慧，同时也可以放松心情。少一点看手机，多一些阅读吧！

爱 好

最近因为要考英文考试，也顺便多多增强自己英语的能力，用现在的空闲时间来好好努力吧！也想要用这些时间来学习韩语，一直以来都很喜欢韩语的自己，就尝试自学起来吧！把时间都填得满满的！自己其实也还有很多小兴趣或小爱好，就像画画、刺绣等等，真的期待自己真的会好好善用时间吧！

社 交

之前有段时间把自己封闭起来，不太喜欢出去和大家交流，可是我觉得现在的我准备好了，心情也变得比较不一样了，想要和大家一起做一些有意义的事情，想要多多参与活动，多多充实自己！还有，也想打一些工，来赚钱买自己想要的东西，送给自己，爱自己多多！改变自己的朋友圈，改变自己的周遭环境，让自己变得更快乐！

爱 自 己

爱自己的第一步就是学会爱自己的全部(优点和缺点)，包括自己的身体和皮肤。之前有点时间，学会好好疼爱自己，花一些小钱买保养品，每天准时按摩自己的脸，保养好自己的皮肤，其实真的很放松！好好了解自己，好好的爱惜自己，倾听自己的感受！最大的敌人永远是自己，先学会征服自己吧！

一百天开始了！我也会开始journaling，记录自己的每一个当下！❤️ 

再 见

//离别是重逢的开始，现在的分别是为了下一次的相见。//

五年的大学生涯就这样结束了，有很多的不舍，也有一丝对未来的憧憬。原本以为自己真的很想要赶快毕业，真的对这个环境感到厌倦了，也因人情的冷漠而浇熄了内心的热情，可是真的没想到最后一张考卷的前一晚，我竟然哭了、哭得无法自拔。想起这五年，自己所经历的一切，和身边的人所经历的一切，真的不是三言两语可以叙述的，那些都是充满着许许多多的回忆，尤其是你。虽然这些日子真的一点都不好过，真的受尽委屈，那种任何人都无法了解你的感受，被世界边缘化的感觉，没有了知心的朋友，也失去人生的方向，表面看似没什么问题，但是内心却已经崩溃到极点，每天都跑到厕所的角落抱着双腿哭泣，那种感觉真的很不好受，接近忧郁症的自己。这样的日子过了好一段时间，难得遇上行动管制令让我喘口气，也感恩有这些时间让我找回自己。说真的，真的不容易，想回去心里还会有些许颤抖。虽然有苦有笑，但是这些都是回忆，让我成长的记忆。感谢你，不管是那一方面，都还是感谢你。曾经的我以为我们真的会走到最后，可是世界上没有绝对的事情，总有变化。心中的爱是真真实实的，真的很不想放手，可是事实永远都是残酷了，这些日子有尝试接纳回你，可是我觉得你还是你，我也还是我，有些问题或许真的一辈子都解决不了。你无法想象我的脑海里一直都有你的存在，会因为你而担心，会因为很多事而胡思乱想。以为会变好的一切，原来只是在原地打转，我还是会在乎、还是会难过，而你还是老样子做你想做的事，多么期望你会回头问我一句，“你怎么了？” 可是我等不到了，我最终真的选择放手，也许早一点放手，你就能尽早找到一个比我能够照顾你的人，我也才能好好的放下一切勇往直前。加油吧！对不起，我并没有那么伟大可以在你身旁默默地守候，我真的没有想到会这样子道别，原本还以为把考完试的最后一天的时间留给了你，可是最终没等到讯息，就算了。因为我告诉了我自己，绝对不要再主动，因为只会失望、只会受伤。心里永远都搞不明白，你为什么总是可以说理就理，说不理就不理，这是何其讽刺的，只想说这样只会像一把刀一直插在我的心里。总而言之，感谢你这一路以来的相助，继续做个大好人吧，虽然真的其实要回头看看身边的另外一半比较好，不是每个人的包容心这么大的。All the best !!!

五年的大学生涯，有酸甜苦辣，真的是时候说再见了。It's time to explore my new life and look for a better me! 😊 

孩子气

近来，真的不知道自己怎么了？脾气开始变得暴躁，以前都会选择把事情吞下，可是现在都会表达出来，把一些其实很小的事情化大，好像很严重似的。真的很奇怪耶？！还是其实原本自己就是这样的，而不想要再容忍了，我不知道耶。那把火真的不知道怎么会那么快的被燃烧起来了，还是自己真的还不够成熟，总有点孩子气。

事情总是想成不好的，一直觉得别人辜负了我，就默默的自我伤心、难过。或许，这些年来太多太多的事情发生在我的身上，称得上比连续剧还精彩的剧情，通通发生在我身上。会感到委屈，可是这些我都觉得过去了，就不去计较太多了，免得让自己掉入烦恼的死胡同里。可是，这些事情的发生总会让自己联想，是不是我哪里做得不够好，还是哪里做错了，难道真的是自己错的决定而害了自己吗？我不知道。我只是告诉我自己我已经是个成年人了，自己做的每一个决定，自己都要负起责任，对别人亦要善良，因为大家其实都背负着总总压力，对别人善良些，让别人也比较好过。

随着环境的成长，自己总是先改变自己，而非困扰着如何改变别人，以前学习的静思语一句一句的落实在生活中，也许真的是因为自己比较少参与活动了，心灵资粮也快被掏空了，期许考完人生最后大考的我能够专注于自我的发展、智慧的增长，了解内心深处的自己，再重新出发吧！

P/S：勿以小人之心度君子之腹，加油吧！认真学习~ 人生本来就不好过，自己更要坚强活出最好的自己。

迎来最后一个开学日

整整三个月半，因为疫情离开了校园。明天7月1日，是我迎来人生最后一个开学日。我其实很笃定自己不会专研，因为这些都是需要牺牲人生最宝贵的其中两样东西，就是时间和金钱。

读了将近二十年的书，从幼稚园；到小学；到中学；到大学，每一个阶段都是一次新的开始，然而有了开始就会有结束的一天。很快的，其实多七个星期的校园生活，就会迎来那最后一次的考试。且紧张，且兴奋。紧张；因为自己有很多事想要做，想要用功学习、把握时间和老师、朋友相处，也要让自己用这七个星期的时间，让自己背下❝牙医❞二字的名称。兴奋；因为自己其实以前就有提到自己都会去幻想自己踏入社会的模样，转唇膏为口红、转直髮为卷发、转背包为手提袋、转平底鞋为高跟鞋，让自己扎起马尾、穿起高跟鞋❝踢踏踢踏…❞，有自信的走起路来，变得成熟、稳重。

时光飞逝呀！这二十五年来，感恩父母的栽培，才有现在的自己，我会加油的，我要用功努力，把赚来的钱拿回家。我也会平平淡淡的过着我想要过的生活，低低调调的去实现人生中的每一个梦想！

加油吧！

MCO

     -my first online lecture with Dr Haikal-

I've been staying at home for the past 26 days and 17 days more to go due to the movement control order (MCO) to manage the Covid-19 outbreak.

The past 26 days was really slacking and mainly spent time for my family. Really glad that I have this opportunity to stay together with my family and do things together. Also, not forgetting my little nephew which I spent most of my time with him. Although staying at home with so many family members (nine of us) is not really that easy at all, but anyhow we manage to minimize all the unnecessary argues. It's also another lesson to learn in living with so many people in a family and how to be more considerate for each other especially your beloved ones which not many of us get to encounter. 

These days I get to identify myself more too and start to understand myself, learning to gain self-love. I begin to be steady and sure on what exactly I'm doing. I used to have separation anxiety as I'm a person who always rely on others especially my family or my other half and I do feel insecure too whenever coming into decision making and etc. I begin to knew how fragile I am and I really want to get rid of them so badly. Also, I begin to know more about relationship, I want a person who is willing to make an effort for me and together we build trust for each other. This MCO really helps me a lot as I will read more and watch more on life related stories. 

Another 17 more days to go, I told myself not to waste anymore time on dramas and start to work on academics. That day I received a nerve-wracking call from a professor, my palms and underarms are totally wet throughout the call but this call really changes my mind towards him as this is the first time I feel his encouragement and a feeling for me to be more hardworking. "You're one of the students who I will give much expectations to so be hardworking." This sentence really pushes me up and start to gain conscious that I shouldn't be wasting more time as I'm going to graduate soon. That night, it was my first time signing up on a free online lecture and I was really attentive and I do learnt a lot. I promise myself to start working and get my face away from the phone screen and start learning before it's too late! 

Looking forward for a better self! Let's go! 

<3 

开学日

明天将步入我人生中最后一个开学日了，读了五年的degree、花费了父母一大笔的血汗钱，终将告一段落了。再来五个月的准备，就将踏上另外一个里程碑了。

以前的我谈起这些，心里总是充满澎湃，可是现在的自己，也许是成熟了，不再会有那种兴奋感，反而是对人生充满了感悟。其实人生本来就是起起落落的，不需要为了一些事情而影响了自己的思绪，自己反而要稳了脚步，沉着当下的自己，更加积极的向前，应该要知道分秒必争，才能求上进，别罔顾了父母恩。

更加了解自己，更加爱自己。人生路还有很漫长，在这个最后一个学期里，把自己变得更好，同时也要快快乐乐。家里也增添了几个成员，这也是我快乐的泉源。

有些事走着走着就知道答案了，只要把当下的自己做好就好。

最近的座右铭：自强不息，厚得载物！

加油！五个月分秒必争！

first day of class 2020

First day of class in 2020.

Adrenaline shoots up once I was awakened from a dream right before my alarm rang. The anxiety is as if like the first day of school of a primary school children, maybe I'm just not ready for school, I'm still staying sweet in my holiday mood. 

Early in the morning, looked up for an oral surgeon to discuss about my wisdom tooth. I'm a future dentist but I'm actually afraid of dental treatments, feeling of butterflies in my stomach when I'm still deciding to get it removed or not. Speaking up with our school's orthodontist Dr Loke, to get her opinion on whether to remove my wisdom tooth. And here, I get all the advices I've always wanted to. I opened up to her, about all the fears I have in the future as the dental field is getting more and more competitive and the exposure that we get is getting lesser and lesser especially when we served for that one year compulsory service. She spoke a lot to me, she even told me about her days back then when she didn't even think that she will be an orthodontist. She said when the days in her service in GHKL she got a lot of exposure in oral surgery, she likes it so much. But after all, due to the long hours of working and on call, and she eliminated other specialization, she chose orthodontist and she's finally in her master after 10 years later. I do told her that doing dentistry is also my choice when I eliminated other careers in my list. But she told me, once you're in it just work hard and go for it and be happy. She told me that it's just like a game, when you're a beginner and you actually find difficulties in playing it, but as you play, you learnt how to manage them, then you begin to be very excited and want to try to challenge more. Don't stress up yourself, just be happy for everything. Do what you should do now and do not be eager for reward (cause you will be stressed up), do just because you're happy with it. She also asked me to get good of the fundamental, get all the bread and butter ready before more comes into my life. Study hard now! Treat all the patients like your own family members and you will get the right path. And I wanted to add sth Dr Joan also inspired me a lot, she taught me to treat a patient carefully and sincerely, not just requirements but the overall oral health of the patient. We look in long term, not short term relieved for the patient. Really grateful to have all these doctors that made my life a little bit different, they changed me to be a good dentist in the future. But not fame. 

I really want to be a responsible dentist and a dentist being called a family's dentist. I do not go for a high income or a dentist that with all the fame and showing people all their achievements ( I used to think that way is a success, but I'm wrong, I know what I want.) , I just want to be an ordinary but good dentist. 

Thankful that I know what I'm achieving for in the future, but I will not be worried of what path I'm choosing in the future, because time will let you know the answer. Don't worry and be happy! Don't remember to work hard too! :)

P/S: this is the 10th year I'm writing a blog. I like to express my feelings through writing. And i do read back what I've wrote and reflect on them or reminiscing moments of the past. Now, I choose to write even more to actually treat this place as my listener and don't forget I always have a dream to publish my own book on my journey since young. So this acts as the purpose. ;) 

Till here, I'm a bit too long winded. :p